The Feline Bureau of Insanity, that is. Wanted for cold-blooded crimes against toilet paper. Not once or twice, either, but many many rolls have suffered the slashing of her teeth and claws. She has also been caught sampling paper towels, paper napkins, wrapping tissue, and sewing pattern tissue.
If you value your paper goods, beware the Mayor of CrazyTown.* Aka: Goofus McButthead,Lucyfer, and Jaws. And be warned; she is clawed and dangerous.
*Edited to add: “Mayor of CrazyTown” and “Goofus McButthead” are names coined by Captain Romance.